


Jay’s Wish.

by ionlyreadgayfanfictionsorry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Larry Stylinson Is Real, M/M, One Direction Hiatus, Post-Break Up, harry always comes to louis, jay dies :(, louis seeks comfort in harry, they fix things sorta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 15:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29209986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ionlyreadgayfanfictionsorry/pseuds/ionlyreadgayfanfictionsorry
Summary: Before Jay passes away, she tells Louis to fix things with the green-eyed boy who had Louis’ heart since day one.He realizes he needs to accept this wish when the first person he needs when he’s upset is exactly the one person he shouldn’t be calling.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 2
Kudos: 29





	Jay’s Wish.

“hey, lou.” lottie called his name, so he looked up. she smiled sadly. “mum said she wants to talk to you. she’s in her room.”  
louis closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. then he opened them and smiled. “okay. thanks, lots.”  
“no problem.”  
he slowly walked up the stairs to his mom’s room. the door was open, so they smiled at each other before he walked completely in.  
“you alright, mum?”  
she nodded, “as good as i can be.” she moved over, making space beside her. “come sit, love.” he did, carefully. “i need to talk to you about something. i don’t think you’ll like to hear it, but you need to.”  
he nodded, agreeing. “i’ll listen to whatever you have to say.”  
she laughed. “that’s new.” then she rubbed his hair. “i know how hard this is hitting you. you might be able to full everyone by pretending to be strong, and you are strong, but i know you’re falling apart. i know you. you’re my baby, louis.”  
tears welled in louis’ eyes, so he dropped his head. “you’re my best friend, mum... i love you so much. i just don’t know how i’m going to handle not having you around anymore.”  
“i know. that’s why i’m telling you this...” she took a deep breath. “i know you miss him, love.” louis didn’t need to ask who she was talking about; it was obvious. “i’m sure he misses you, too.”  
“he doesn’t,” louis argued immediately. “he-“  
his mom cut him off, “you said you’d listen to me.” he closed his mouth. “i’m certain he misses you, louis. there’s no way he doesn’t. the way you two were... i’ve told you before, but i’m not sure how true you think it is.” she paused, but he didn’t say anything. “you two were soulmates, louis. i’ve known it since you were 18. you went on and on about the curly haired boy you met in the bathroom. i could see how much you liked him immediately, but i let it go. and then... you were put into a band with him, lou. you were together constantly, and even if we never actually said anything, anne and i both knew it was going to be you two. fate wanted you together, and everyone knew it.”  
“when we told you we were dating...” louis took a shaky breath, letting the memory overcome his thoughts. “we knew you guys would support us, but i remember harry- god, he was so nervous. he kept hugging me and saying if you guys didn’t want us to be together, we’d have to run away.” he let out a soft chuckle at that. “and i was so ready. if you didn’t love me anymore because i loved a boy... well, i had harry, so it didn’t matter really.”  
“you never told me that,” she smiled at him. “you know i’m right, though, louis. you know he’s the one, so why won’t you just tell him?”  
louis closed his eyes, remembering how they had yelled at each other. “we really hurt each other, mum. i think i hurt him more, though... i just- he was so upset about us not being out, and i kept telling him i wasn’t ready. that even if i could find a way out of the contract, i wasn’t going to do it. and i called him... i yelled at him, and i told him i didn’t care if he left.” louis’ voice cracked. “i told him i didn’t love him anymore, that it had faded and we weren’t supposed to be together. i told him-“ louis choked out a sob, folding against his mom. she hugged him and rubbed his back. “i miss him so much, but i don’t know how to make up for what i did. what if it’s too late?” he shook as sob after sob escaped into his mom’s neck.  
“it’s not too late. he misses you, too. you’re both just too stubborn to admit it. just like you and zayn...”  
“i fixed things with him, mum.”  
“i know, love. i’m sure it’ll never be the same, but that friendship was too good to let go. i want you to fix it, all of them. it’s so important for you to have your boys back when i’m gone. especially your main boy.”  
louis took a couple deep breaths, pulling back from his mom slightly. “i’ll call him, mum.”  
“good. now, how about we all go get something to eat!” she kissed his cheek, softly.  
•••  
“hey, why don’t you go take a minute, louis?” daisy asked him. “i’m sure you can find an empty room, just for yourself.”  
louis thanked her with a hug. “i’ll be right back. i swear.”  
“take your time.” she pulled back. “and you don’t always have to stay strong. it’s alright to cry in front of us sometimes. we know you’re sad.”  
he let his smile drop. “i just don’t want to make you feel guys worse if i cry.”  
“take a minute,” she repeated.  
louis nodded once, rushing to the first empty room he could find. he allowed himself to lean against the wall as sob escaped him. he wanted to tell someone, wanted comfort. he couldn’t bother his family.  
his mind scrambled as he grabbed his phone. before he could even realize what he was doing, he was calling someone.  
‘harry styles.’  
“‘lo?” a sleep voice answered. louis’ heart twisted. “louis?”  
hearing harry say his name broke something inside of him. he collapsed to the ground, harry’s breathing still coming out of the phone against his ear. louis tried taking deep breaths, but tears kept falling from his eyes. his face felt sticky as his mouth twisted.  
“louis, lou. what’s wrong? talk to me. are you alright?” harry’s voice no longer sounded tired; he was frantic. his breathing was almost as fast as louis’.  
“i- she- mum’s- she’s gone and i’m at the funeral and i kept it together for the kids but i’m alone now and i- i need you.” louis’ heart broke at harry’s silence. “sorry. i dunno why i called y-“  
“louis, no. you can always call me... i’m- jay’s really gone?”  
“yeah...”  
“fuck, louis. i’m so, so sorry. i know how close you were to your mom. do you- never mind.”  
“no, tell me. you loved her, too, so whatever you had to say, say it.” just hearing harry’s voice was helping louis calm down. he blamed it on the fact that harry helped distract him, though. ‘anyone could’ve done it,’ louis tried to tell himself. he didn’t believe it.  
“do you want me to come to doncaster? if that’s where you are.”  
“i... you don’t have to do that.”  
“louis... i want to be there for you. i know i hurt you, but if you need me, i’ll be there for you. you were always my best friend. for so many years.”  
louis laughed. tears ran into his mouth. “i ruined it, though. i hurt you.”  
“it wasn’t your fault. not completely, at least.”  
“but harry-“  
“this isn’t the time for that, okay? i don’t want to do this when you’re already upset about your mum,” harry cut him off.  
“i want you to come,” louis whispered. “i’m in doncaster.”  
“at your house? the same one.”  
“yeah. i’ll send you the address.”  
“i remember, lou. i’ll be there in two hours,” harry told him. louis could hear him moving.  
“thank you, haz.”  
the phone was silent for a moment before harry whispered, “always, lou.” then he hung up, leaving louis to question whether this was a good idea or not.  
louis took a deep breath (this one wasn’t as shaky as the previous ones) and finally wiped the tears off his face. then, he stood up, stepping out of the room.  
“hey, where’s dan?” louis asked, stepping toward daisy and phoebe.  
phoebe shrugged. “uhm, he took ernie to the bathroom last time we saw him.”  
“alright. well, do you know how long it’ll take to get home? i wasn’t really paying attention on the way here.”  
“the hotel is half an hour away, and it took us about an hour to get there, so yeah... probably like an hour and a half?” phoebe confirmed.  
“shit, really?” with his sisters’ nod, he huffed. “i’ve gotta head home then. let dan know when you see him, alright? i’m still going to stay a while, so i’ll definitely have dinner and all that with you, alright?”  
he kissed both of their cheeks.  
lottie walked up to them, so he hugged her, too. “why are you leaving?”  
louis hesitated. “harry’s going to be there soon...”  
“you talked to harry?!”  
“yeah. i sorta... i broke down while i was in that room, and i called him. i just needed him. he offered to come up here, so i told him to go to the house. i have to get there before him.”  
“so, what? you’re just going to forgive him then?” daisy crossed her arms.  
louis shook his head. “you don’t know the whole story. it wasn’t completely harry’s fault. besides, i just need my best mate right now. he said he was going to talk to me about... what happened until after i dealt with mum first. a few days, at least.”  
“and you think this is the best idea?”  
he paused, then shrugged. “i honestly have no idea, but i couldn’t say no. and, i already promised mum i’d fix things with him. if he isn’t ready to be back with me, or he never wants that again, then it’s okay. but... i have to at least try.”  
“he’ll forgive you,” lottie told him. she hugged him again. “he loves you. you love him. always have, and i’m certain you always will. you guys deserve a happily ever after.”  
“i love you all. i’ll see you in a couple days, okay?” he walked away, back to the parking lot.  
•••  
when louis got there, harry was already there. he was sitting on the stairs, writing in his journal. louis instantly felt guilty. “hey, sorry for keeping you waiting. i didn’t realize you’d be here so soon,” louis apologized.  
harry looked up. he didn’t smile, but his eyes lit up when he saw louis. just like they used to. louis felt his heart twist.  
“i expected you to be here. or someone, at least.” harry closed his journal, leaving the pen to mark his page.  
louis looked back at his car instinctively. “yeah, well... they’re all staying at the hotel. i just- i dunno. i think we’ve wasted enough of our time in hotels.”  
“yeah. we have.” harry stood up. “can i- god. this is so fucking awkward. do you need a hug?”  
louis sighed, relieved. “it’d be nice, yeah.” harry instantly stood up, arms circling louis. louis let himself relax in the arms of the taller boy. “i’m so fucking sorry, h.”  
harry didn’t reply, just shook his head and backed away.  
louis pulled his keys out of his back pocket, stepping forward to unlock the door. harry followed him inside.  
“do you want some tea? or a beer? or... i don’t know. what do you like now?” louis shifted his weight.  
harry just stared at him. “erm. whatever you’re having is fine.”  
“okay.” louis gestures to the couch. “you can sit. if you want. or we can go to the kitchen since i have to get the drinks anyway. sorry. just... whatever you want to do. the house is still the same. and you can leave if you don’t want to be here. i was just upset earlier and i guess my first thought was to call you because i always used to...”  
harry ran a hand through his hair. “i’m not leaving. unless you want me to. i think it’s time we talk, so i’ll go with you to the kitchen. and i already told you you don’t need to apologize. i’ll always be here for you.”  
louis sighed, turning away so harry couldn’t see the tears that had welled up in his eyes. “alright. come on then. i’ll make some tea.”  
so, harry followed him into the kitchen. he sat on a stool beside the island while louis turned the tea kettle on. he stared at the stove for a minute before turning around. he examined harry’s face as he leaned back against the counter. “i think that’s what we needed, you know?” louis decided to dive right into the conversation. it wasn’t like he could make their relationship any worse.  
“to break up?”  
louis paused. “yeah. yeah, i think so. we were just too- we were really young. i loved you, still do honestly, and i know you loved me... they shoved us into that life. at the time, it was great. but even if they hadn’t closeted us, even if we never dated or never fell in love, the band wouldn’t have been easy for us. throw a relationship in, and it’s not going to work out.”  
“why’d we even break up, louis? we lasted that long, so why did it suddenly stop working?” harry lowered his gaze to the floor.  
“we fought a lot more. they were separating us more, and they pushed me farther into eleanor. we were both so stressed out. when you would get jealous, i just got so mad. not at you, or myself really. i was pissed that we had to live that way. instead of trying to reassure you, i just let all that pent up anger out on you. i never apologized, not until it was too late to mean anything at least, so we ended things. i regret it every day. well, actually, i guess not. i fucking miss you every day, yeah, but i don’t...”  
“you don’t regret hurting me?” harry laughed. it was forced.  
“h, love. that wasn’t what i meant.”  
“‘s what it sounded like. and don’t call me that.”  
“call you what?”  
“anything! don’t fucking call me anything. you can’t sit there and call me ‘h’ or ‘haz’ or fucking ‘love!’ not anymore, louis! i’m not yours, so you can’t call me those little pet names anymore! you broke up with ME. my name’s fucking harry, alright?” harry was gripping the table, eyes clenched shut.  
“harry.... yeah. i’m sorry. i didn’t realize. i didn’t mean i don’t regret hurting you, though. i don’t regret our break up because it was damaging to you, to the both of us really. you were finally happy, and i see how open you are now. i was holding you back. THAT’S what i don’t regret, haz- harry.”  
“i loved you so much,” harry admitted.  
“i know,” louis smiled sadly. “i fucking know.”  
“are you drunk? or were you, when you called?”  
“no. sober. i was upset, though. so fucking heartbroken. my first thought was you, always fucking YOU, so that’s who i called. and mum... well, i dunno if i’m supposed to tell you, but here i am. haven’t started following rules, have i?” louis took a shaky breath, his heart twisting as he remembered his mom’s body being lowered into the ground. “she told me that me and you are soulmates. she said i needed to fix things with you because i- well, because i fucking missed you, and she KNEW i was still heartbroken and in love with you. she said that i would need you when she... you know.” louis slid to the ground, pulling his knees to his chest. he stared at the lower cabinets. “she was fucking right. i do need you. i don’t know if i can handle not having her without you. i know you don’t want to have a relationship with me right now, or ever, and i’m not asking you to choose that. i’m not good enough for you. i’m just... me. so i’m not asking you to give me another shot at being your boyfriend. what i am asking for though is another chance as your best friend. right now, i need my best friend.”  
“we were never best friends, louis. not really,” harry whispered.  
louis let out a sob, putting his face against his knees. “i’m so fucking sorry. i was dumb and i didn’t think it would hurt you and i’m sorry. i love you. i’m in love with you. it’s only ever been you for me. i’ve never loved anyone since you peed on me when you were sixteen. I WAS GOING TO PROPOSE TO YOU AND WE WERE GOING TO HAVE KIDS AND I FUCKING RUINED THAT!” louis was yelling now, hiccuping the words between his sobs. “i ruined it,” he repeated, quieter now.  
“i still love you.” suddenly, harry was in front of him, crouched down. neither of them looked at each other, but their hands locked onto each other’s. “i never moved on. it’s only been about a year, but i never... not once did i ever think of anything but you. you aren’t too good for me, louis. i couldn’t ever...” suddenly, harry laughed. “kids?”  
the two finally looked at each other, giant smiles breaking out on their faces. “yeah. kids. lots of them. with your curls.”  
harry reached a hand up, stroking louis’ cheek. louis tilted his cheek into it. “your blue eyes...”  
louis blushed, his cheeks warming under harry’s hand. “we are soulmates, aren’t we?”  
“i’m pretty sure, yeah,” harry admitted. he kissed louis’ cheek. “you were right about us being too young. we were still teenagers. what we had wasn’t just puppy love, though.”  
“nah. ours is the real deal.”  
“hey, lou?”  
“mhm?”  
“so this is kind of insane, but will you marry me?” he whispered the final part into louis’ ear.  
louis grinned. “always. yes. be my husband. forever.” then he pulled harry into a kiss. “mine.”  
“yours,” harry responded immediately. “and then let’s adopt a kid.”  
“how about a cat first?”  
“perfect,” harry replied.  
“we still need to talk,” louis reminded him.  
“we will. definitely. i just needed to... ask you that first. let’s fix us.”  
“and then let’s get married,” louis added. he kissed harry again, making up for all the lost time.


End file.
